


Halloweenies (A Halloween Special)

by stealthmodeactivate



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Gen, Halloween, dont be discouraged by my terrible summaries, i waited until the last minute can you tell, silly as fuck costumes, there's really no ships it's just implied canonical relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 11:14:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2545526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stealthmodeactivate/pseuds/stealthmodeactivate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Lads and Gents work at a Halloween store when a very special shipment of new merchandise comes in, one that will revolutionize the 6-person group costume industry forever. Or it will just give everyone something to blackmail them with.<br/>BONUS: I included the picture I used for the Lads' costume reference. It's great.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Halloweenies (A Halloween Special)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween! You never know, I might even do a Christmas special. I do love my Mavin (;

It was almost Halloween.

Well, there were technically three months, a week, and two days left to go, but that was the lads' jobs- to keep track and be ready.

A total of six employees kept _Halloween Hunters_ in Austin, Texas running all year long with almost always only three people working there at one time. The customer population was focused mostly around October, but there were, of course, those crafty types, early moms, and occasional cosplayers that popped into the store any time of the year before then. They _had_ to stay open almost 365 days for those eleven people a month. On more than one occasion had a customer unwittingly popped in to find the Lads wrestling and play-fighting or the Gents taking naps in various places.

Their highly stocked store had the whole works: masks, decorations, makeup, wigs, and, most importantly, a wide variety of costumes. The employees were quite fond of their outfit selections available for the public. Their themes stretched far and wide, from pop culture references to silly ideas, comic book and video game characters to occupational uniforms, and kids to "adult" costumes.

Ray didn't care about Halloween very much, he just liked the easy work with his friends. Michael thought it was fun, and Gavin was just excited to see the costumes and wear his own ridiculous ones. The elders of the company, Ryan and Jack, helped Geoff, their boss, found the place and make it successful even while being a "one time a year store". The three lads switched days around with the gents as often as needed, allowing them all to form bonds strong enough to handle teasing insults and blatant cursing. It was basically the perfect job.

"Hey, assholes, we got a new shipment." Ray poked his head out from around the door in the back marked 'Private', (which was painted the same green as the door in _Always Sunny_ by Michael's insistence) directing his words towards Michael and Gavin, who were leaning against the front counter in almost comatose states.

"Where the fuck are we gonna put it? We've sold like three things since the last time." Michael muttered, not averting his gaze from the endless path his thumb was grazing through Twitter.

"It's new stuff, I guess." Ray said, glancing back at the boxes stacked haphazardly on a tiny blue table.

"Well, that's always interesting. C'mon, Gav." He nudged Gavin, who was merely staring at a picture of his own knee, his eyelids a centimeter from drooping closed.

They trudged to the back, entering in through the door held open by Ray. They shuffled around three stacked boxes, each of them taking one. Michael flicked out a pocket knife and cut the tops on all of them in swift motions. They flipped open the flaps, peering into the contents of the plain brown boxes.

"What?" Gavin asked, holding up a packaged men's costume that appeared to be a 6-foot bottle of ketchup.

"The fuck?" Michael examined his. It matched Gavin's - it was a men's bottle of mustard costume.

"What the fuck?" Ray laughed, holding up the costume in his box. His was a full, human-sized costume for a bottle of mayo.

"Who in their right bloody minds would buy these?" Gavin scoffed, examining the back of the package to make sure it wasn't a joke.

"We get some fuckin' weirdos that come in here." Ray reminded him.

"I, for one, think these are a great idea." Michael's face split into a huge grin, already picturing how ridiculous they would look on them.

"You're not saying..." Ray started warily.

"Fuck yeah, I'm saying." Michael confirmed, ripping open his own package. "Let's do this."

 

\---

 

"Why in the fuck was this considered a good idea?" Ray asked, his voice muffled as he struggled to pull the mayo bottle fabric over his head.

"Michael, yours has a hat!" Gavin discovered, pulling out a cap. Literally, a yellow felt cap.

"As if I didn't look fucking foolish enough." Michael shifted his weight back and forth until he stood close enough to grab the hat from Gavin's hands. He was already regretting suggesting the idea.

Gavin, on the other hand, looked perfectly at home in his ketchup bottle. Then again, he did have practice at wearing an abnormally sized penis costume.

With a grunt and a pop, Ray was morphed into a large bottle of mayonnaise.

"Jesus Christ, why." He complained, looking at himself in the full-length mirror.

"Lads, we look cool as nobs." Gavin smiled, adjusting his _Heinz_ label.

"Yeah, if you mean cool as in like fucking bustas." Michael said, observing their ridiculous reflection.

"We'll be a hit at all the parties!" Gavin countered.

"What parties?" Ray grumbled quietly.

"Yeah, like Burnie's annual party that everyone will get shitfaced at and then forget we even fucking wore these." Michael recounted.

"Not unless we get some mingin' pictures of condiments getting hammered." Gavin replied with a grin.

Michael just rolled his eyes, not keen on the idea, but reluctantly gave into the idea of getting dragged along if only for the sake of making people laugh. Ray only sighed inwardly, knowing he'd have to accompany the two and avoid the alcohol whist there.

"Does this mayo make me look fat?" Ray deadpanned, turning to the side like a concerned teenage girl.

"What are you, like three pounds?" Michael rolled his eyes jokingly.

"Are you sure? I feel so bloated." Ray puffed out his stomach to create a pudgy-looking tummy. Gavin smacked it, causing Ray to blow out the air in his cheeks and laugh.

"Hey, guys?" Michael called. The two turned around to see him rummaging around in the opened boxes.

"What?" Gavin curiously moved over to him to peer into the cardboard container, Ray moving along with him to glance into his respective box. He imitated Michael and shuffled through the stacked packages to discover a whole new layer of costumes.

"It's..."

"Relish?" Ray asked.

"Fucking marinara." Michael groaned.

"Hot sauce!" Gavin laughed, looking into his container to find the outfit and immediately thinking of Geoff.

"I smell a Plan G costume collaboration." He said seriously, without even a second thought.

"Looks like the R & R Connection just got another hookup!" Ray did a subdued fist pump.

"And this is fucking perfect for Jack." Michael snorted, marveling at their good fortune.

"You think they'll agree?" Ray wondered aloud.

"They better!" Michael threatened. "If we're going dressed like this, they're going dressed like that." He indicated the boxes with a head nod.

"Team Lads and Team Gents just got one hell of a group costume." Ray grinned.

"Hey, dickheads!" A familiar voice floated from the front of the store, the chime of the bell signaling its arrival.

"We have arrived!" An exceptionally dramatic voice boomed, entering in from behind the first.

"Hello!" The cheeriest intonation reached the Lads' ears, by which time they had glanced at each other for several seconds and had come to a quick decision.

"Geoffy, we got a new shipment!" Michael called boldly, poking only his head around the corner, Ray snatching his hat just in time.

"Yeah, I saw that!" Jack called, the beardy man walking in behind Ryan. He was almost always on top of things, checking future payments, schedules, and packages as often as needed.

"Oh?" Ryan questioned, picking his way around display racks to reach the back.

"I know. What'd we get, dickwads?" Geoff asked, his tired eyes watching in the direction his feet were taking to back.

"Some, uh, new costumes." Michael replied tentatively.

"Like what?" Geoff asked, now nearly at the door where the Lads stood dressed as condiment bottles.

"Wait, before you come back," Gavin halted them. "What are you mongs doing for Halloween?" He asked.

"Going to Burnie's party, as always." Geoff replied, Ryan and Jack giving small "same"s.

"Do you have costumes yet?"

"Yeah, three months, a week, and two days in advance." From Michael's position he could see Geoff's eyes roll exasperatedly.

"Good. 'Cus we've got something for you three." Gavin gripped the costume package and motioned Michael and Ray with him as he stepped around the corner, fully expecting the reaction they'd get.

Geoff and Jack immediately burst into loud, side-hurting, crumple-to-the-floor laughter. Ryan made a witty comment that was immediately drowned out by the raucous sounds of the other two men's reactions and then promptly dissolved into lung-busting laughter.

"Oh my- oh my god! You guys look like such fuc-fucking douchebags!" Geoff gasped between outbursts.

"What t-the fuck!?" Jack spluttered while being interrupted with smatters of chuckles.

"Wait," Ryan breathed deeply, calming the small hiccups of laughter coming from his mouth. "If those are your costumes, what... are you suggesting we wear?" He spoke warily and slowly as he reached the question, becoming nervous of the answer.

"Now that you mention it," Michael said smugly, producing the package from behind his back.

"You'll like these." Ray smiled widely, handing his to Ryan.

"Oh god, no." His eyes widened.

"Oh god, yes!" Gavin cackled, handing his over to an inquisitive Geoff.

"What in the hell..?" Jack looked over the costume handed to him by Michael.

"Hot sauce?!" Geoff's voice cracked.

"You won't look as ridiculous as us." Ray reasoned.

"Go put them on!" Gavin urged. They groaned but reluctantly trudged to the back with their outfits.

 

\---

 

"Eeuugh." Geoff sighed as he flopped his arms uselessly in his costume.

"Why in the fuck was this considered a good idea?" Ryan moaned, waddling over to the mirror.

"We're giant bottles of sauces." Jack groaned.

"No shit." Geoff grumbled dejectedly.

"Aw come on, you guys look great!" Michael encouraged, laughing at their disgruntled expressions.

"You're gonna fuckin' die." Geoff whined.

"It'll be fun." Michael reiterated.

"I hope so." Jack sighed.

 

\---

 

Three months, a week, and two days later, a gaggle of giggling girls gathered in Burnie's grand garden. Well, grand if you compared it to the nonexistent lawn of apartments. And a garden if you considered a 2x4 square of flowers to be a garden.

The girls were centered around one thing: their phones. Their phones held some of the most precious picture ever taken- ones of six grown men wearing condiment bottle costumes.

Tina, Meg, and Lindsay were scrolling through an endless stream of pictures of each of their boys and various group photos. Griffon, Caiti, and Ryan's wife, Laurie, although older, still found the childish joy in taking silly pictures of their husbands, so they shared a few chuckles with each other.

Of course, the guys were used to doing dumb things and only took in stride the laughter that greeted them as they stepped into the Halloween party. They'd even debated wearing them to work, but figured it would be too much of a hinderence. They did, however, set up the costumes in the display window on some almost embarrassed-looking mannequins.

"You guys look _great_." Burnie had commented as they walked in to the thriving atmosphere, laughing heartily along with his guests.

"Thanks, Burns." Gavin said, and he smiled just as brightly as the rest of them. Even though they knew they looked ridiculous, the boys couldn't help but be happy just to make people laugh. It was just the kind of people they were.

Later that night, they each went their respective ways after a fair amount of bevs (besides Ray, Tina, and Ryan, who usually didn't drink anyway). Tina drove Ray home, and Ryan took everyone to their individual homes in the official community Halloween Hunters van except for Gavin and Meg, who just opted to stay in the spare bedroom at Michael and Lindsay's. Ryan put on a disgruntled façade, but he was really more than happy to be of help to his friends.

That night, the boys were nestled all snug in their beds as visions of mayonnaise danced in their heads (And ketchup, mustard, and various other sauces). They were just settling down with each of their favorite gals when a van zoomed past, a booming voice calling, "Happy Halloween to all, and to all a good night!".

 

BONUS: 

**Author's Note:**

> That was Ryan, in case you didn't guess. (You never know, someone might not have.) I hope you like the costume picture, I searched long and hard for it. Anyway, happy Halloween and have a safe and spooky night!
> 
> P.S. As I have discovered by many writers, people tend to forget that nobs is spelled as 'nobs', not 'knobs'. I assure you, Mr. Gavin Free himself has clarified it is spelled as the former. Just a lil' spelling lesson, carry on with your reading now.<3


End file.
